Ruts…
Every couple goes into ruts but I think it hits D/s couples doubly hard because all that “kinky shit” that Vanilla couples do to get out of their ruts actually constitutes the bulk of our intimate gestures one toward another. So what do D/s couples do when they get ruts? Well, I can only speak for my relationship and what we do is pretty controversial among D/sers evidently. I brought our approach to ruts to a message board and nearly got tarred, feathered, and run out on a rail. Hopefully my own journal is a safer place to present this. 
When the twack of the whip loses its appeal and when the sight of me tied down to the bed becomes “ho hum”, we don’t push it to the “next level”, pull out bigger floggers, thicker ropes, or buy yet another book by another D/s celebrity know it all on what to do when the flames aren’t running high. No, in the Norseman’s house, we do the opposite. We just roll with it. Yup.. and that’s why there haven’t been many (okay any) updates to this journal in the past few weeks. We’re in a rut and we’re just rollin’ with it.
When we notice ourselves falling into a rut, a few things happen. Firstly, he removes my collar.. the physical collar, not the emotional bond, and my collar goes into a closet along with all of our D/s paraphernalia and assorted sexual accoutrements. My sexy lingerie gets traded in for Flannel pajama bottoms and his old teeshirts. My lacy underpanties are pushed to the bottom drawer and I put my cotton high cut briefs on top instead.
Secondly, I start calling Master by his given name. Just like removing my physical collar in no way affects my commitment, calling Master by his first name doesn’t change who he is to me. Likewise, he calls me by my first name as well. We never become equals. That doesn’t happen ever in our relationship and that’s true, no matter what we call one another.
Lastly, we settle in. What I mean by this is that we don’t pressure it. We don’t push it. We don’t talk about D/s. I don’t whine and tell him how much I miss scening. He doesn’t slap me on the ass and try to rev me into a frenzy and get angry when it doesn’t work. We do normal relationship things. We go for long walks to the park, kiss in public, go on dates. I serve high tea with no protocol for a change. We sleep next to one another and I forgo sleeping on the floor at the foot of his bed or in another room. We watch TV cuddled with big pillows on the sofa and we say “I love you” more than should be legal. We settle down into the vanilla of it all and enjoy it. Ice Cream, no sprinkles. Plain coffee, no strange named Starbuck crappoccinos.
Tapioca pudding.
We put the kink on a shelf and for the most part roleplay a vanilla couple until the desire to be our normal kinky selves comes back. I have no idea what made our approach to ruts so controversial in D/s forums, but to us, we do exactly the same thing that Vanilla couples do to spice up their relationships when they have a rut. We do something out of character. We the opposite things of normal life and we get out of our routine. What’s so odd about that? But that is why I haven’t been writing lately. I’ve appreciated all of the emails and comments and I’m happy to have been missed, but putting Kink on the shelf means this blog as well. We’re slowly taking things back off the shelf as the desires are starting to stir, so I’ll be writing again.
Thanks for enduring our rut and our evidently strange methods of dealing with it, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be back to normal soon.