Theresa threatened me with bodily harm if I do this meme, so obviously, I’m doing it. I like bodily harm.

1. Do you like blue cheese? YES. Passionately. Stinkier the better.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Uh, No. And what the fuck kind of question is that? (this meme is sponsored by your state and/or local law enforcement taskforce)
3. Do you own a gun? No…
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?  HCFS is from the devil. Don’t believe the anti-hype.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No, and at this point THEY come to ME….
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Lips and Assholes..
7. Favorite Christmas Song? O’ come o come Emanuel. I dated a guy named Emauel.. that’s all I’ll say.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I thought I liked water, but evidently I like cum…

(Read on …)

I have watched this clip of Nancy Botwin getting spanked by the Mayor of Tijuana at least 95 times on my DVR.  I love love love this.  It makes me wet every single time I see it.

WET.  SOPPING. WET Damn It. and JEALOUS of those BRUISES.

I love how this so perfectly represents what I go through several times a day. I am pulled down, pushed, held by the hair, the throat, whatever part of me is flailing or grasp-ready at the time and then WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!!! I’m spanked or rough handled or forced fed a cock for just a few moments before being cast off like a life sized rag doll.

When I get up off my knees, find my footing, or just sit up and get my bearings, I usually give him a blank stared “thank you” before getting back to whatever it is I was doing. Do any of y’all get this?

Jeez oh man.. It’s jarring to a girl’s system, innit?

Now Master, Like El Jefe de Tijuana, is largely unaffected and goes back to watching tv, surfing the net, studying for school, what have you. I on the other hand am wide eyed, endorphin rushed and stumbling like a drunken bar maid while I trying to figure out if I actually LIKED that or not. If I’m even PRESENT or not. Normal conversation is an epic fail for at least 15 minutes and Master ignores the spectacle and acts as if it’s normal.

Ladies? Am I being programmed? Tell me. Because I’ve actually started to weigh this type of behavior as the benchmark of normalcy in my life.

No matter how often these impromptu acts of random kink happen, I still end up just like Nancy Botwin. The dazed look on her face when it’s over?? I love that the most. It’s realistic and I can relate to it in my life. I have that face about 5 times a day.

And most of you do, too.

I’m not pregnant and no we’re not getting another pet, animal, or slave.

I’m talking about a new addition to The List.  The List of people I would theoretically leave Master for.  Yes, he knows about this list and he has his list, too, only it’s women and I think Angelina Jolie is on it, but she’s more of a one night stand than a happily ever after.  Anyway,

Tom Shaydac.   He’s a film director and on my hawtometer, he rates hothothothothot.   If one were to blend Hugh Laurie from House and the guy who plays Gaius Baltar on the reinvented Battlestar Galactica, one would undoubtedly arrive at a Tom Shaydac type concoction.  Aside from that hotness, he’s also an evironmentalist and just a sweet sweet man.  That sweetness would probably be the thing that would doom our relationship. Kittens need rough treatment, lest we foget our places and get scratchy and bitey.  But in my fantasy life, Tom is just rough enough.

Honorable Mention goes to Wierd Al Yankovic who is that same kind of hot, but I wouldn’t trust him in bed. He’s a different kind of sadist and I already belong to a man who knows that a corny ass pun, at times, can be worse than a whip. Plus, I know that the Weird Al thing is just the Michael Shanks look-a-like connection. Look real close.. there’s a little Daniel Jackson in there..  Eyebrow/cheekbone/face shape and nose.

Off to see The Wizardess.  I’m going to Ma’am’s house for the day!

Happy Birthday, Theresa!

How cool to have your birthday also be TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!

ARRRRRRRRR!

Kitten