This is a cleaning tip.

If you want to know how strangers will see your house, start taking photos of your rooms then wait a day and examine them. When you look at your rooms through the unforgiving eyes of a camera, you will see exactly what needs to be done. The clutter, the little homeless knick knacks, the dust, the corners, the floors, everything will reveal itself in bright vivid living color. When you finally take a photo of the room that doesn’t make you cringe just a little, you’ve probably finished cleaning.

The reason this works is that cameras don’t filter the way our minds might and when we look at the photo we see things that our brains may have long filtered out. This is something I do when I know we have guests coming and I need to make a good impression. I’m always shocked at how things I’ve looked at for days now stick out in a photo like a million sore thumbs.

Anyway, I hope it helps!

No, really. Gag Me.

I need the lowdown on Ball Gags and other types of gags.

Master wants me to have a good ball gag that will muffle me slightly. He also wants me to have a type of gag that will hold my mouth open and keep it accessible. Right now he gags me very often with his filthy underwear which is HOT but we could use a change.

So what do you use? What do you like? Tell me about it.

Links are a welcomed sight.

Kitten

We went to a lifestyle function on Sunday and I was being introduced to a lot of new people. It was fun. I enjoyed myself for the most part. Master was having lovely conversations. I was having conversations in short bursts because I was also keeping his drink full, his plates fresh and appetizing, and doing a lot of other little things to make sure he was enjoying himself. I was in effect doing my job.

In the conversations I did have, there was a common thread among the s-types. This phrase..

“It must be nice…”. That was the response when I told them that I was a full time slave and did not work outside of the home.

“It must be nice…”, in a trailing off, dismissive, half envious, half sarcastic tone, where the word “nice” chimes up and comes through clinched teeth and a pursed smile and has far too many syllables. It was generally followed up with “I’d love to be able to stay home and do nothing all day.” I had to correct the assumption so many times that it really started to seem like I was spending a good bit of time defending my existence and my dynamic.

I am very very sure that no one meant it that way or even felt it sounded the way it did to me. I think it is because I hear the same thing daily in the vanilla world that hearing it from my fellow kinksters was a bit of a slap. “What do you do?” is a question people will naturally ask. “I’m a housewife” or “I’m a 24/7 slave.” is naturally my answer and I start to cringe and wait for the inevitable clinched teeth “It Must Be Nice…” answer and when it doesn’t come or when it’s genuine, I breathe a sigh of relief and smile with happiness. The idea that “stay at home” means “lazy and pampered” is offensive to me. Working outside of the home is not a possibility because Master says it isn’t. We tried it. I couldn’t serve him as fully and as seamlessly as he desires. To assume that it means I’m sleeping in and eating bonbons insulting.

My day is quite full and begins at 9 AM most days unless for some reason I have a reprieve and get to sleep later. There’s always something to do and the house is never ever perfect and to his ideal specifications. I am on my feet most of the day making sure things are perfect and if there’s time, I’ll adjourn to the studio and get some of my artwork done, but lately, there simply hasn’t been time. Oh, Did I mention that I’m a full time Biotechnology student AND I’m taking Medical Assisting Classes as well? Oh yeah.. AND He requires that I keep a 3.8 or better to stay not only on the deans list, but also on the PRESIDENT’S LIST??

By the time bedtime rolls around, I’m more than ready and most likely will be asleep by the time my head hits the pillow, but sometimes, (most of the time) in the middle of the night, a hand creeps into my little bed on the floor and wakes me by parting my lips with a finger and then when I’m just barely roused awake, my hair is pulled and this large throbbing cock invades my sleeping throat, and that lets me know that as tired as I might be, my duties aren’t concluded and my day isn’t over. And generally, once he’s done using me, he’ll want a snack so I get up to cook whatever he desires, clean the kitchen again and crawl back into bed and no matter what time that is, I’m still up by 9 most mornings, handling my calendar.

I have a palm pilot because keeping up with my schedule at home is much more trying than it ever was when I was working in an office and had a secretary!

The “It Must Be Nice” response really just bothers me because of the way it comes across. I wish I could feel differently, but I just don’t. It always feels like an insult. I don’t know.

Anyone else ever gotten that response to staying at home and know what I’m talking about?

What’s it to ya? (This is a rant)

The whole “Playing without a safeword is stupid” campaign is getting annoying. I was having a conversation the other day with someone who reads my blog and he said “hey, you guys don’t use safewords?” and I said we didn’t. THEN I got about a lecture about safewords. This guy didn’t stop to take a breath while he told me all about dungeon safety and why public play requires safewords and how I really should get a safeword, because what if your hands are tied? and what if you can’t signal him that you’re not okay?? or what if you’re in subspace and you can’t focus or think??? SAFEWORD NINE ELEVEN!!

When he did take a breath I said “We only play with one another. We don’t play in public and He never ignores me when I say ‘my toes are tingling’ or ‘hold on’ or ‘hey that feels not quite right’ We prefer to use regular language and not safewords because it’s what works for us.”

Then he said “Oh… I see…” and then proceeded to REPEAT ALL THE SAFEWORD INFORMATION THAT WE’D ALREADY DEEMED NOT APPROPRIATE TO MY SITUATION!! He was still on and on about safewords when I drifted off into eyes glazing over nod and smile land. This guy was not at all interested in my safeword or lack of one. He was totally wrapped up in his own PSA. I thought the NBC shooting star was going to float by any second. Best part? This guy has been to a dungeon once. He’s never had a long term BDSM centered relationship. He’s essentially a newbie regurgitating information he’s learned online with no regard to application or situational relevance.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I really appreciate when people are generally concerned. I acknowledge their concern and tell them that we know the risks we take and accept them fully. This guy wasn’t open to that concept. After I explained that we weren’t into the whole “ignore the words that come out of her mouth until she says ‘pickled monkey cunts’ ” type of play he gave me the whole lecture again. It totally reminded me of Office Space and the “TPS Reports” gag. YES.. I got the memo.

This is what I find largely unnecessary. This is when I think the PSAs are just a little too much. When people refuse to accept that some folks may play a little differently than they do it’s just really annoying. Sure Saefwords have their place. I’m all for them if that’s your thing but they don’t work for us. I believe if the over the top armchair safety experts in the Safe Sane Consensual camp would pay attention and listen to the RACK, Edgeplay, and Non Safeworded folks, they would see that a lot of us have it pretty well figured out as it applies to our personal dynamics. Not all SSC folks are this way. Some are respectful of the way that the rest of us play, but for the rest, respecting our decisions and realizing that WE are the only ones truly responsible for OUR safety would be a step in the right direction.

And seriously, if you say the “when I read your obituary” thing, I’m walking away…

/rant